at some point, without knowing when, i've forgotten how to pretend to be a good adventist. i used to slip with ease into adventist mode, knowing what to say and what not to say when surrounded by the conservatives for fear of offending them or worse making them worry about my eternal salvation. this evening we had dinner with some family friends of michael's and i found myself very self-conscious. i kept thinking things like, "do they know we live together?" and "is it bad that i ordered beef?". there was a moment of awesome awkwardness when the food came and we all clearly did not know whether or not we should be praying over it. nobody made eye contact and then we all silently blessed our own food. or at least they did. i was feeling pretty self satisfied with my performance until after we left when i actually paused to think about how glad i was that i forgot to wear earrings, and then i was all "GAH! nose ring!".
so close.
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